What is Scissor Me Timbers About?
Itโs not just big booty nuns, itโs big booty nuns with a message. ๐
Scissor Me Timbers is my breakup text to Catholic guilt and my homage to The Telltale Heart, The Cask of Amontillado, and The Fall of the House of Usher all in one sapphic erotic splatterfest. What began as me asking โWhatโs the exact opposite of a drag queen slasher?โ quickly transformed into a story about the illusion of choice, the lengths one might go to keep a secret buried, and how lesbian fuccboi lumberjills may not be what they seem.
So I know I roughly went over what Scissor Me Timbers was about, and where the story came from. Welp, where a story begins and what it becomes once it ends are two completely different things. Now that the story is done and in the final editing phases. . .allow me to reflect back on my 3rd abomination. The story that fell from the sky, became a whole other creature on its own, and took a chunk of me with it.
Brass tacks: Scissor Me Timbers is about characters we identify with and root for, and how easily they can become villains. Itโs about how lying to yourself to dodge your own shame/shame you picked up by your decisions/vocations can turn you into an unholy beast. Not everything buried may stay put. Even the best kept secrets leave traces and those traces can manifest in ways one would never think possible.
We meet Sister Sarah, a smart mouthed tempest in a tunic, ready to make things better for all women in the church. She doesnโt let things like rude priests get in her way. For her, itโs just water off a duckโs back; a drop of this & a drop of that; and a little elbow grease to make her dreams of becoming Mother Superior come true.
So when a fiery femme fatale with no memory lands in her lap, the sisterhood are nun the wiser that her ripples might lead to tidal waves of blood. The convent becomes a battleground between a mother penguin protecting her chicks versus a vixen on a mission to make a meal out of them all. Who will go down? Who will come out on top? Will knuckles be involved?
I am still not able to concretely say when the official drop date will be, but know my sassy nuns and their bad habits will be dropping it low within the month. I swear on a stack of bibles.๐๐ฝ
Also: I drew a whole ass map of The Cistercian Nuns of the Valley of Perpetual Felicity Monastery *deep breath* so readers donโt get lost in the unholy sauce. This will be at the front of the book! I figure we are trapped in this convent too, a visual aid might help. #FunFact: Perpetua and Felicity are the patron saints of lesbianism.๐ฉท
Passive-aggressively Yours,
Phrique ๐ค