Somebody Musta Left Her Out in the Sun.

Waddling to the stage everyone: Xtra Mayonessa!

That’s not a vaseline lens, this queen just stays greasy. She’s got it all, with the stink lines & everything. This queen is new to the scene. Fresh as the Febreze on the crotch of her tucking panties. Her delulu is unparalleled. She’s the star of her own fantasy world. Xtra went from DuncanDungadoobarDungeonMstr on twitch to Xtra Mayonessa, in all her knock-knee’d glory! Her parents are her greatest supporter, especially her mom. Debbie Dungadoobar leaves her notes to help her throughout her day, but mom never left her a note to be this sickening!

Xtra’s very existence made Charles Darwin roll over in his grave, but she was just “being Xtra.” Duncan made people gag on whatever that smell was, but Xtra made people gag on her eleganza.

She may not have all her teeth, full-cognitive-development or an efficient personal hygiene regimen…but what she does have is confidence. The drag world is full of shade, but that doesn’t bother Xtra. If ignorance is bliss, then Xtra is on cloud 9. Can’t engage with the haters if you don’t understand what “cromagnon” means. She doesn't stay pressed like panini. She believes in keeping her hennies close and her hennemies closer.

Some would say Ms. Mayonessa was a little…slow. A little obnoxious, a little…rotund, but Xtra always forgot “rotund” ended with a D. So the short, plus-size queen just said she was built like a lil jar o’ mayo and everything was better with mayo.

Gig of the Damned has its s’heros, its sh’enemies, and its comic relief. Cue Xtra Mayonessa to the rescue! Love her or hate her, she’s going have you gagging. I can’t stand her ass, but GOTD wouldn’t be GOTD without our shiny sweaty. 🖤

Passive-Aggressively Yours,

J.J. Salas