She Swears to Tell the T, the Whole T, & Nothing but the T.
Coming to the stage everyone: Evayda Subpoena!
Can she get a witness? Evayda is our patron saint of good Judies. She will hold your wig, fight a ho, and tell you your eyelash is on upside down in the same breath. Evayda is not one to judge, as long as your breath refuses the right to remain silent. Don’t get it twisted though, she won’t come for you unless you summon her. She won’t just catch a case for anyone, but when you are “in” with her…she’s loyal for life. Just be honest with her, unless you want to be found in contempt of her court. As long as you comply…she won’t have any objections.
That’s why her and her worstie Gamble Donna Phart became so close. Evayda knew someone who was going to need a legal counsel soon when she saw one. So she scooped the baby drag queen up, took her under her wing, and now they are bosom buddies til the end. Objection your honor! Isn’t Gamble Donna Phart a suspect here?
For being sickening? Guilty! Electric Chair!
The mind of the lawyer, Corbin Fowler Esquire and the voice of the drag queen Evayda Subpoena converged into one, delivering her final that’s that on that statements before a jury of her peers.
(oooo! Not the government name! Overruled.)
Exhibit A: 3 years of law school and her street smarts make Evayda Subpoena a good judge of character and an even better lawyer. I know who I would want on my side! Consider Yourself Served. It is my sworn testimony that Gig of the Damned needed a ride-or-die bestie that you absolutely ADORE and mourn. She is, to date, my favorite and saddest character to write. Under oath, we love you Evayda! Freddy Krueger got what she deserved! The defense rests.
p.s. GOTD will officially be sent off to my editor next week! It’s happening y’all! Stay Choon’d!
Passive-Aggressively Yours,
J.J. Salas