Scissor Me Timbers Cover Reveal!

plus one unholy synopsis!

Scissor Me Timbers is officially done and in the joyous editing phase! So while we wait for hopefully what won’t be eons of time. . . why not do a lil’ cover reveal?

This is a special cover reveal tho. It’s not just for my 3rd and girthiest abomination to date, it’s also for the first cover I have hand-drawn all by myself. 🙀 So this is technically a cover reveal AND an art exhibit! Look at you being worldly & cultured. Pass the canapes, dahling! 💅🏽

Scissor Me Timbers has been a long time coming, I promise I won’t get too mushy about it tho. I do want to say that I love how this story came out. It IS my first time writing erotic horror, and I would like to think I hit that G-spot with flying colors. It’s 40% horror, 40% smut, and 20% humor. I can’t help it, it’s what the voices commanded I write! Oh & in case you couldn’t tell by the cover. . . it’s also 100% sacrilegious. So be warned, you might need to repent after you finish reading it. But at least we’ll have something to discuss when you come visit my VIP section in Hell. Tell em’ Phrique sent ya!

Anyhoo, you came here for the cover and the synopsis amirite? So let’s get to it!

Hey Jeebus, it’s me Mother Superior. 🛐

My Dearest Inamorata, Virgin Mary:

I beseech thy heavenly help.

For a seductive serpent

has found it fit

to infiltrate my lady garden and

enchant my convent

with her feminine wiles.

My daily thoughts drift

to her most holy of places,

before they become

my most fanny-fluttering nightmares.

Lead me not slide down her slippery path,

for I fear her ultimate pleasure

would lead to my ultimate punishment.

Give me, I prithee,

chastened strength, forsooth.

May I pluck out my eye

that I cast upon her rotund derrière.

May I cut off my arm

that aches to caress her ample bosom.

Keep her womanly entrance

and her blasphemous booty

from my hallucinatory escapades.

Guide my hand so I might smite

this plaid clad vixen’s descent

upon my henhouse.

Transmute me

into a voluptuous vessel

for your wrath,

Give me the vengeance

I implore

Before the demoness sees fit

to devour us all.

Pray for the sinners,

Mother Superior 💋